I can relate. All of us have times when God's Word doesn't seem to go deeper than words on a page. It seems that times of great need would make Scripture more alive and profitable. But sometimes, like a plant whose soil is so parched that it can't absorb water, a stressed mind doesn't allow words to penetrate.
The only cure that I know is to keep splashing in God's Word with the hope that my heart will absorb some truth. Like several ladies mentioned in our series on Bible reading, I have found it vital to read with a pen in hand with the commitment that I won't stop reading until I write something down - a phrase, a verse, a thought. The process of my hand writing the words help them to go deeper than the visual nerves.
Recently several friends have asked if I choose a Word of the Year. I never have, probably due to my dislike for joining the latest band-wagon. But I do see value in choosing one word, a theme or concept, to focus on for a year.
On the first Sunday of the New Year, I was flipping through my Bible to find the passage the minister was reading and stalled at Hebrews 4. The word "Rest" jumped off the page, and I found my word for the year.
When I think of this coming year I admit that I'm terrified. I don't know what the year will hold, but it is likely to include pain. And there is absolutely nothing I can do to change that fact.
I know by looking at the past that God will carry us through every challenge. I know that I need to trust Him, but humanely it just feels hard.
Ed's MRI last week looked great. We are so grateful that the inflammation is nearly gone, and the tumor is stable. Compared to his MRIs last summer, they are beautiful.
But the treatment that stalled his tumor brought side affects. It might seem silly but now that we are not actively treating Ed's cancer, some of the smaller things like fatigue, lack of concentration, and his inability to work feel overwhelming. We are working with a rehab doctor in hopes of increasing his strength and focus. I struggle to know what I should accept, and what I should push to change. I find myself stressing over little things, possibly since I can't change the big things.
It isn't all gloomy at our house. I've been given a new editing opportunity that I'm excited about. Our boys are loving their new puppy. Homeschooling has been a challenge this year with disrupted schedules, but we are enjoying a new art program and some great read-alouds. Some days (maybe every day) I need to choose whether I'm going to focus on all the things that went wrong or list my many blessings.
When I read Hebrews 4 I can't begin to uncover all its riches. Verse 9 promises rest for the people of God. We are told to listen to God's voice and not harden our hearts (vs. 7). Rest is something to be sought through faith (vs.11) and the power of the Word of God (vs. 12). But best of all is our Lord Jesus Christ, our high priest, who became a man and knows our weakness (vs.14-15) so we can come to the throne of God and find mercy and grace (and rest) in our time of need (vs. 16).
Rest. We can find it because, through faith in Christ, He gives rest.
That is a promise to carry into the unknowns of a new year.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)
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