Random thoughts.
- Occasionally I visit a cancer forum. I usually find them depressing. Glioblastoma stories are not typically encouraging.
But what I find more chilling is how many people have very little support. Some are even abandoned by their friends, family, even their spouse when given a glioblastoma diagnosis.
Last week was my birthday and if I needed a reminder of how much we are supported, I got it. I had five casseroles given to me, besides homemade bread, a bucket of cookies, and two ice cream desserts. Gorgeous flower arrangements were delivered to my door. Friends called, stopped in for a visit, emailed, and sent cards. Another friend offered to babysit so Ed and I could have a date. By the end of the week I felt embarrassed by my flood of riches.
Especially when I think of those who are alone. I wish I could share my support system with those who have none.
And Ed shampooed our carpets for my birthday - which might tell you something about his energy level - or love language. (But I won't mention how many years it has been since they were shampooed.)
- A very rainy May has made sunshine something to celebrate. It also means that my garden has grown a carpet of weeds. The last few days I've attempted to find dirt under the green. Last night it was dry enough for Ed to roto-till so now I can see my garden rows again.
I'm planning to keep my garden simple this year. It is mostly filled with potatoes and green beans, with some onions, corn, and a few other items. Some days I think that I shouldn't have a garden and spend more time with Ed this summer. I don't need weeds adding more stress in my life.
But then I bring in a pan full of fresh broccoli, asparagus, or lettuce and remember why I garden. And hacking through some chickweed and watching a tidy row emerge is therapeutic. I'm almost never disturbed in the garden by the children, probably out of fear that they will be handed a hoe, so maybe a garden is worth having for just the thinking time.
- I've been discouraged about growing tomatoes since we always get tomato blight. I thought maybe this year I'd make a new garden out in our pasture since the blight spores are probably living in our garden soil. But a larger garden doesn't sound like a good idea this year.
Then a friend offered to grow tomatoes for me. (Yes, another example of our amazing supporters.)
But I thought I at least needed one tomato for fresh eating. So I planted it in the front flower bed, hopefully far away from blight spores. My children think I'm crazy. But I think it will be hidden by the flowers and no one will notice I have a tomato in the front yard.
Or maybe I'll just pretend it is hip to grow tomatoes in the front yard.
- Ed was tired for the first week after his seizure, but he is now back to nearly normal activities. At least his normal since his surgery. He seems to be reacting well to his meds and his blood work has been perfect. This week in the doctor's office we chatted with another patient in the waiting room that is on the same clinical trial. She was not able to tolerate the medication, and I was reminded me to be thankful that Ed is doing so well.
- Now that school is over I'm on a cleaning spree. I make no apologies for the areas of my house that have been neglected this past year, but by now they are driving me crazy.
Like gardening, I wonder if I shouldn't spend time cleaning and instead focus on Ed. But Ed appreciates a clean house, so maybe my goal should be to have the cleanest house possible. Yes, I think in circles. So I'm just chipping out housecleaning in tiny bits, keeping my focus on the more important things like relationships, but enjoying the clean. Yesterday we tackled the game closet. I find that I'm much more willing to throw things out now; life seems to short to waste with stuff.
- One of my problems with housecleaning is that I want to do it myself. My children help with general tidying, laundry sorting, dish-washing, vacuuming. But they could be doing more and it takes time to train children to new jobs and I'd prefer doing it myself. I'm forcing myself to train them. A checklist is helping.
With all our interruptions the past couple weeks, house cleaning isn't a fast process but we are celebrating small victories. Ice cream cones after the children's bedrooms are finished? Yes!
- I've been asked to write about how to encourage your children to work. I actually started a post years ago. But every time I think of writing on the topic we have one of those bad days with terrible attitudes. Then I don't think I'm qualified to write about anything.
- I just finished what I think is the best book I read all year. But I chose a terrible time/place to read it.
Not Quite a Miracle by Jon Franklin and Alan Doelp is a fascinating book about brain surgery. It is well-written; Franklin won the Pulitzer for his nonfiction short stories because he is a master of his craft. The book follows four neurosurgeons and places you in the operating room and by the bedsides of five patients.
I was loving the book so threw it into my bag when Ed and I went for his monthly appointments to the clinical center. I knew I have lots of waiting time to enjoy a good book. But, whew, reading about brain surgery in the same building where Ed had surgery a few months ago was brutal. I was nearly shaking and had to get up and walk around to regain composure.
The book reads like a novel with heart-pounding drama. I've said that I don't like medical stories, but I think I'm changing my mind. I don't like poorly written medical stories that are a pity-fest. Not Quite a Miracle is hopeful even if harrowing. It made my appreciate the medical teams that dare to take risks to help their patients.
Not Quite a Miracle (affiliate link) was written in the 1980's which gives a picture of how brain surgery has changed in thirty years. The book is out of print, but I was able to find a used copy on Amazon. I don't recommend the book if you are close to someone with glioblastoma unless you are willing to face the reality of the diagnosis; it doesn't mince words. But if you want an example of great nonfiction writing; it won't disappoint.
- I've been reading lots of good middle grade fiction too. But this ramble has gone long enough. Another day.
Back to cleaning and weeding, loving and training, reading and hoping.
And look for a giveaway or two next week if all goes as planned.
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