Is it possible to have both?
During a recent conversation with friends I found that I wasn't the only one who snapped at my children, then turned to smile sweetly when guests walked in the door.
I love to have guests to our home. I love to prepare a pretty table and a clean house for the comfort of my guests. I like to have the meal prepared so I can enjoy time with friends without rushing.
But a clean house and yummy food doesn't just happen. They take preparation. And too often I turn into a drill sergeant barking out orders. "They will be here in only half an hour, pick up your dirty socks and help me." It is surprising my children continue to ask to have friends over when mom turns into a grump.
I think I'm learning. When I recognize that flushed face and raised voice, I try to start eliminating tasks. That dirty bathroom? It probably won't kill anyone. Haven't dusted for a month? Maybe it will make the other mom feel good to see dust in someone else's house. No time to arrange a bouquet of flowers? Send one of the girls to pick some zinnias.
I think (here is where I get real quiet and hope not too many people are listening) that the root of my problem is pride. I want to look like a capable efficient homemaker. I crave the approval of my friends.
And my children, well, sadly I must not care as much what they think of me. Besides, they already know the worse.
I'd love to hear from you.
How do you host guests without stressing your family? Do you have shortcuts you fall back on? How do you make sure that you are seeking to bless others and not just give yourself some gold stars for hospitality?
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