I always thought that survivor guilt was silly. Why waste time on guilt that you survived and another didn't? But sometimes emotions don't make sense.
I thought I was prepared, but Jess' funeral was harder than I expected. Ed and Jess share the same disease, yet Ed is feeling remarkably well while Jess' 25 years seem pitifully short. And only God knows the number of Ed's days.
I know that in God's time even several hundred years of life is ridiculously brief. Eternity is endless, and Jess gets a head start in enjoying the glories of God's presence. Jess' goal was to be faithful until death, and she made it. The rest of us have more living to do - which means more pain ahead.
But "Jesus hath cheered the dark valley of sorrow...For Jesus hath risen, and man shall not die." (From Lift Your Glad Voices)
Yesterday was Ed's 41st birthday. I told him that I hoped he'd have a really good year. His immediate reply was that whatever happened, he was going to have a good year. Ed has taken Jess' death even harder than I have, but he also has a firm faith that God will carry us like He did Jess.
I searched online to find some of the music that was sung at Jess' funeral. She loved to sing, and the words of these songs share Jess' message to us who are still living.
"The Lord is My Light and My Salvation" - Jess' favorite song
"Somewhere in the Skies"
"By His Hand" - Jess' Testimony
"Lift Your Glad Voices" - Maybe the last song that Jess sang in her earthly body
If you are reading by email or feed reader, you may need to click over to the Home Joys blog to view the videos.
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